I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
