If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
