I looked at my own cervix.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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