When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
