So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?