He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
