Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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