I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
