Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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