I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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