you have to choose: penises or morals?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
