my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
