Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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