Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
