I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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