yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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