I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
