We're facebook friends in real life
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
