I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
