No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize