i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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