My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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