I seem to have left my pride at pride
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
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Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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