so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
