You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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