I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
