ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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