she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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