70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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