ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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