I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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