He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
