6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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