I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
