Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
