I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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