Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
