You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
