She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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