I'm so fucking centered right now
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
