operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
