just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Randomize
