i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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