Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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