Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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