is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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