you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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