I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
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I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
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I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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