Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
