it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
