Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
