It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
This baby is an asshole
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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