hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Go christen that room with your naked body.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
