my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
